High Stakes, Higher Pressures: Why Athletes at Every Level Must Prioritize Mental Health

Watching my sons play sports since they were 5 and 6 has meant front‑row access to the exhilaration of victory, the sting of defeat, the gleam of possibility and the less visible toll that competitive athletics can take. One is now competing at the college level, and the other is still striving for the “next level.” In that journey I’ve learned: today’s athlete must be equally invested in mental health as physical health.

The Competitive Nature and Its Hidden Cost

From bitty ball to college sports, the drive to compete, to win, to be better than yesterday is built into the system. Coaches, parents, peers, and the athletes themselves reinforce it: You push harder. You train longer. You don’t let up. And that’s good in many ways; it builds discipline, resilience, teamwork and character.

But there’s a flip side. The relentless pursuit of performance can bring tremendous pressure: fear of failure, perfectionism, identity tied to being “youth athlete,” and less room to be “just a kid.” In my house I’ve observed days when one son is on fire; shining, confident, and others when the younger one quiets up, frustrated because he knows he’s good but not there yet. That emotional roller‑coaster is common. The highs feel incredible; the lows feel lonely.

It’s Not Just the Body That Needs Care

When we train our kids for speed, strength, agility and skill, we often forget to train them for self‑care: the habits of rest, the awareness of when they’re mentally taxed, the permission to fail, the ability to ask for help. Athletes at every level, youth club, high school varsity, college, pro, are subject to the same basic human vulnerabilities: stress, anxiety, depression, burnout.

The recent death of Marshawn Kneeland, defensive end for the Dallas Cowboys, is a sobering reminder that no one is immune. Just days earlier he had celebrated a career milestone. It illustrates that achievements, even those highly visible don’t erase pain. And for young athletes, that dual identity; “I’m strong, I’m tough, I’m winning” vs. “I’m hurting, I’m isolated, I don’t know what to do” can be devastating.

For Parents, Coaches & Friends: How to Support Wholeness

1. Normalize the conversation. Talk about mental health the same way you talk about physical injuries. If a kid’s body feels off, you rest, rehab, get help. If your son says he’s “just not feeling it” emotionally, treat that as seriously.

2. Expand identity beyond the sport. Help young athletes build a sense of self outside wins, losses and stats. When sport is the only source of identity, everything rises and falls on performance.

3. Teach self‑care habits early. Sleep, nutrition, recovery, stress‑management, breaks; these matter. So do emotional check‑ins: “How am I feeling this week?” “What’s bothering me?” Make it safe to say: “Coach, I need a breather.”

4. Create safe spaces for vulnerability. Showing vulnerability doesn’t make a young athlete soft, it makes him human.

5. Ensure access to help. Know counselors, psychologists, and mental‑health professionals. Don’t wait until a crisis.

6. Celebrate growth, not just medals. Recognize effort, character, teamwork, resilience, and attitude.

A Call to Live the Dream Without Losing the Dreamer

I want for my sons and for every young athlete, the chance to chase the dream. But I also want them to remain whole; emotionally grounded, mentally healthy, connected to purpose beyond the scoreboard.

The competitive nature of sport will always be present in my household. The pressures will grow as stakes rise. But when we as parents, coaches, and friends create an ecosystem where mental health is a teammate, not an afterthought, we give our athletes a fighting chance to live their dreams and still be themselves when the final whistle blows.

We’re not just talking about winning games. We’re talking about living well, playing well, and being well.

If you or someone you love is experiencing a mental health crisis, immediate help is available. You can call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline for free, confidential support 24/7. If someone is in immediate danger or unable to stay safe, call 911 and request a Crisis Intervention Team (CIT)–trained officer when possible. No one has to navigate a mental health emergency alone; help is always within reach.